Kill All Sonsabitches
by watchingmewatchingu
Summary: I suck at summaries, but basically this is what happens when all you play is L4D2 and all you watch is Glee and all you ship is Brittana... shhh Written by a gamer and her none gamer friend, based on actual events.
1. Chapter 1

**AN:** Tbh, I don't even know what the hell this is. All I know is that I love me some L4D/L4D2 and I love me some Brittana, so I thought, why not combine my two favorite things? This is the outcome.  
>Enjoy!<br>**Disclaimer:** I own absolutely nothing , except for a 360, the games and the Glee dvd's :) glad we cleared that out.

* * *

><p>Santana pressed 'X' and picked up the sniping rifle. "Whoa! Put it down little girl, you're not ready for that yet." A voice through her headset could be heard. "Shut it, Chang! You know how long I've been playing this game for?" Mike snickered. "When will you learn that it's not about how long, but rather the skills and tactics you use, to get yourself further in the map." He barely had time to finish his sentence before he got jumped by a hunter. "K, I'm being pounded on over here." Santana raised an eyebrow, but was not planning on turning back. <em>'Pills here!'<em>

"Santana, are you kidding me? Get this thing off of me!" Mike yelled in such a high pitched voice that made her throw off the headset. It landed at Brittany's feet, who picked it up and put it back on Santana's head. "San, cuddle with me." Brittany stood in front of the TV, as she tried to distract her girlfriend. Santana pushed the blonde out of the way. "Hold on babe, one sec, let me just, aw fuck!"

_**'VOTE**__**  
><strong>__**Kick Player: fakeBewbs?'**__**  
><strong>_  
>"Mike, what the hell, come on, just because I wouldn't save you? I literally had the entire fucking horde on me, those other losers weren't exactly helping me out! Puck? Come on man."<br>In vain Brittany tried to get her girlfriend's attention. "San, please?" She tried to take the controller as she straddled Santana. "B, not right now, hold on."

_**'VOTE PASSED!**__**  
><strong>__**Kicking Player: fakeBewbs'**__**  
><strong>_  
>"Great. Fucking losers!" Brittany cupped her face. "Remember, it's just a game." Santana scoffed. "Yeah, right! Yet, when we play Candyland and you lose, it's suddenly not?" Brittany crossed her arms and slumped down beside Santana. "It's not the same thing. What's so good about this game, anyway?" Santana glared at her. "Are you kidding me? What's <em>not<em> good about it? There is the fact that it's the only FPS zombie game that actually pays tribute to zombie horror. Doesn't even the aspect of co-op and zombies intrigue you just a little bit?" Brittany shook her head. "But, it's zombies! You play as a team and there is no fucking _'I'_in team, you have to rely on each other to survive." Brittany wrinkled her nose. "SPF? I didn't even understand half of the things you said." She confessed.

Santana sighed as she braced herself to explain it once more. "No, Britts, FPS. First person shooter. That basically means that the player experiences the action through the main character." She saw the confused expression on the blonde's face and went on to simplify it. "Okay, let's put it like this then, it's a type of 3D game. Remember when we went to see Saw 3D?" Brittany gleamed and nodded eagerly. She was actually the one who had begged and pleaded with Santana to go see it.  
>And although Santana was tough and hardcore on the outside, she was a big softy on the inside. She was really squeamish when it came to people getting butchered on screen. Brittany on the other hand, loved it, the gorier the better. "Well, it's kind of like that. We're the spectators."<br>Brittany looked confused. "But, we're just watching."

Santana sighed loudly. "This is exactly what spectating means." The blonde shrugged. "Oh, well, can I play?" Santana muted her mic after Puck made a series of rude and vulgar comments. "You? You, want to play?" Brittany curled up next to her girlfriend on the couch. "Mhm, I do." She said.  
>"Fine. Go get the other controller. And the charger!" She yelled as she watched Brittany skip into the bedroom.<p>

Santana picked up the headset and rejoined the party she'd just left. "Chang are you lobby leader?" She looked up to the top of her screen: '_**chang-nobi'**_. "Oh, right, you are. Hey, so, B wants to play. Do you guys want to do scavenge or something? Versus, whatever, I really don't care. Invite only?" Mike changed the settings to Versus "Yeah, sure. Is Fabray game?"

Santana scrolled through her friends list. "She's online, most likely doing shit if anything, so I'm guessing, yes?"  
><strong>'Game invite sent to: ac1dburn'<strong>"Set it up, she'll join."

Mike began flipping through the playable maps. "Since you never got those Microsoft point, we can't play The Sacrifice. " Even though he couldn't see her, he was almost 100% sure that she was rolling her eyes. "Swamp Fever, The Perish? Or the usual?"

"What's up losers?" Quinn said as she joined the game. "So we got San, Mike, Goldielocks, Barbie and of course me. We need three more. Hold on, Finn and Sam are in. I'm inviting them. Hey Quinn, what about Rachel?" Puck asked.  
><em><strong>'Game invite sent to: pewpew'<strong>__**  
><strong>_"What? No! I'm not playing with man hands." Santana burst out._**  
><strong>__**'Game invite sent to: gnomercy'**__**  
><strong>_"You don't have to San. Teams will be; you, B, Mike and Finn." Brittany squealed and clapped her hands upon hearing this. "Yay, we're on the same team!" She said. "B, this means it won't be a competition." Santana said before she returned her focus to the game. "Fine, but then we get to play as survivors the first round." Brittany muted the mic and leaned in to whisper; _if you win, you can play this stupid game for as long as you want to and I won't ever bug you abou__t it again. But if I win… we're playing my game and we're going by my rules._

"You're cute, but you said it yourself, we're on the same team." Brittany snatched the headset off of her girlfriend and unmuted the mic. "I'll trade you one _**'fakeBewbs'**_ for an _**'**__**ac1dburn'**_deal or no deal?" Puck chuckled. "Nice try, hot stuff. But I think we're good." He could almost feel Santana's glare burn a hole through his soul. "Q, switch." Puck demanded.

"Ugh. Fine. But no fucking team killing San!" Quinn switched from infected to survivor and Rachel chimed in with a; _Wait, we want Brittany on our team now? I thought she sucked?_  
>"Oh she still sucks baby, but she's not on my team, so I don't care. Good luck." At this, Sam started laughing uncontrollably.<p>

"Really Sam, really? Also, what the hell is up with your gamertag? " Santana asked and checked out the rest of his profile.  
><strong>Gamer Profile<strong>**  
><strong>_Send Friend Request | __ Invite to Game | __ Invite to Private Chat | __Send Message | __Compare Games | __Submit Player Review | __ File Complaint | __ M__ute | __Remove Friend | __  
><em>_'I saw Avatar six times.'_  
>"You have got to be fucking kidding me. Why would you even put that there?" Quinn asked. Sam snickered. He liked the movie Avatar and he liked the name he had chosen for himself, it described his personality perfectly. "Don't hate the player, hate the game." He didn't have anything to be ashamed of.<p>

"Are we gonna play or what?" Santana was getting impatient as hell, she literally just wanted to get it over with. She kept looking over at Brittany, who was sat cross-legged, biting her lower lip, trying to press all of the buttons at once. "Would you quit it!" The blonde glanced at her, from the corner of her eye. "Take a chill pill, babe." She reached over and into the back pocket of Santana's daisy dukes. "B, what? Okay, what are you doing?" Santana's face turned a brighter shade of red, as she started to lose control over her breathing. She began to wiggle her hips, to make room for Brittany to retrieve her hand. "I don't have any gum. And if I did, why would I keep in in my back pocket?" Brittany shrugged. "I don't know. Sharing is caring, but sometimes you forget to share and I just noticed you have a piece in your mouth right now." Santana raised an eyebrow. "It was my last piece, sorry."  
>At this Brittany frowned and Santana knew she wouldn't give up. "Fine, do you want it?"<p>

Before she met Brittany, Santana was a major germophobe. It wasn't as severe as Miss Pillsbury's, she just couldn't let her food touch. _'Just because it all ends up in the same place, does not make it okay for it to touch other __food on my plate.' _It was really a big deal for Santana, Brittany had helped her with it.

It had taken her five weeks to get Santana to even drink from the same glass as her.  
>Five weeks.<br>They were 8.

Santana's eyes darted between her girlfriend and the screen.  
>Back and forth, back and forth.<br>"Well?" Brittany leaned in closer; Santana could feel her hot breath on her.  
>The blonde's tongue licked at her lips, demanding access and Santana dropped the controller and obliged. Slightly leaning back, to give the blonde more room.<br>Their tongues fought for domination, but only for a split second.  
>Brittany forced her onto her back as she straddled her. She pinned Santana's hands above her head. She could be dominant when she wanted to be and it was always when Santana expected it the least.<p>

"Well aren't you just full of surprises?" Santana said and captured her lips once more. "Oh, you have no idea." Momentarily Santana forgot about the game and the voices screaming somewhere in the distant background. In that moment, she was completely oblivious to the world around her.

_"Retrying connection to server, are you fucking kidding me? No, fuck this! Chang, change the map!" __  
><em>_  
><em>_"The lag has nothing to do with the connection failure, Fabray."__  
><em>  
><em>"I don't care! Just, shut <em>_up. Change it!"__  
><em>  
>She sighed into Brittany's mouth as she involuntarily pushed her up and off of her. "Oh my fucking god, you guys, just start the game." She couldn't even focus on the sweet lady kisses she was currently receiving. This is when Brittany made a mental note, never to play video games with Santana again.<br>"Hold on, I'm going to leave and then come back."

'chang-nobi has left the game.'

"Now who's lobby leader?" _**'benDover'**_"Great, Puck."

When Puck came back, they all settled for a game Scavenge at Dead Center. "We'll do Versus after this game." He announced.

* * *

><p><em>Gamertags<em>

**Santana:** _fakebewbs_  
><strong>Mike:<strong>_ chang-nobi_  
><strong>Sam:<strong> _pewpew_  
><strong>Puck:<strong> _benDover_  
><strong>Quinn:<strong> _ac1dburn_  
><strong>Finn:<strong> _gnomercy_


	2. Chapter 2

As the game was loading, Santana took the chance to go through the basics. "Okay, Britt. I'm going to try and help you out the best I can." Brittany nodded and looked down at the controller in her hands. Santana let her fingers brush over the outline of her girlfriend's hands. "Here, let me show you." She moved her fingers along the buttons as she went through them all.

"Say you're a survivor, you have your basic attacks here, melee shove on LT, as you reload and fire on RT. Crouch here. Weapon selection is Y, reload on B." Brittany held up her index finger, silencing Santana. "Can't we just do colors instead of letters?" The brunette looked over at the taller girl smiling back at her. "San, baby, what is it?" But Santana simply shook her head. "Nothing B." Her hand moved hastily to the green button at the bottom. "You jump with A. The touchpad is your inventory and that's basically all you need to know." She then proceeded to give the same explanation for the special infected.

_'It's just a game.' _Santana had to keep reminding herself.

"So, we're playing Scavenge first. Scavenge is 4 against 4. The survivors will team up to find fuel and the other 4 play as infected. It's basically Versus, but you have to think quicker, considering there's a countdown." Brittany wrinkled her nose. "Countdown to what?" Santana was beginning to think that the whole thing was a bad idea. "Countdown to game over. You'll get the hang of it, B. Good luck." She said with a wink.

The game starts and everyone takes their time in the safe room, grabbing a weapon and testing it out, setting up a game plan. Mike on the other hand, runs right out. He passes the bathrooms, knowing there will only be pills and with some luck, possibly some boomer vile. Nothing he couldn't go without.

"Look San, I'm a smoker." She looked lovingly at her girlfriend, who was currently bouncing up and down like a kid in a candy store. Even though Santana was in it to win it, she couldn't help but to laugh at the blonde. "Okay, B. The whole point of this game, is to not let the other team know what you are."

Santana watched her struggle with the controller. "San, how do I smoke again?" Santana sighed deeply as she tried her hardest to keep her team moving. She'd get a couple of headshots in, while Puck would blow 50 rounds on no more than a handful of zombies and _still_ get downed.  
>"Just. Ugh. B, I don't know. Experiment, press the buttons, but not all at once. I don't need to have to buy a new controller, I've had to replace three already, because you broke the joystick on all of them and the touchpad was unresponsive." Brittany pouted. "I said I was sorry."<p>

Santana leaned over and kissed the top of her nose. "I know B, I know." Brittany smiled. "What?" Santana loved her smile, all three of them. There's the sweet smile, the one that melts hearts, the one you can't possibly say no to. The twinkle smile, where her eyes sparkle with excitement and no words need to be said. Her final smile was Santana's favorite, because it was the most _genuine_, the most _beautiful_, the most _breathtaking_ one of them all. It's the smile Brittany would wear when she would look at her, and her only. "Nothing. Just. I love the way your eyes shine when I say your name." She managed to finally tear her eyes away from the blonde's when she felt the controller violently vibrate in her hands. "Oh shit!" she exclaimed. "Did I do it right, San? I did, didn't I?" the dark haired girl watched as her ever so loving girlfriend had her character dangling by the neck "Okay so, how do I let go?"

* * *

><p>They made it to the elevator with minor cuts and bruises. "WHY IS THE GLASS BULLET PROOF? WE'RE IN A FUCKING MALL! IT'S NOT LIKE ITS JAIL!" Mike yelled as he kept shooting his rounds into the elevator glass, in hopes of spotting a special infected, lurking about. "Mike I swear, if you're out of ammo when those doors open and there's either a charger, jockey, boomer, hunter or smoker out there, guess what? The no team killing rule? Yeah, it will no longer apply. Got it?"<p>

Quinn Fabray looked like your typical 90210 blonde beauty. She was one of those kind of people who wanted everything and then some. Everybody had told her _'no'_ her entire life. But 'no' had never stopped her,'no' wasn't a part of her vocabulary.  
>She was good at a lot of things in life, but there was one thing, she was exceptional at and that was gaming.<br>She had mastered them all.  
>Growing up, Quinn had been the complete opposite of her older sister Frannie, to her mother's dismay. Her father never paid too enough attention to ever get to know of her likes and dislikes.<p>

Most of the guys were pretty pro, but what they seemed to always forget was that Quinn managed to rank the highest in every game she ever laid her hands on. Take Black Ops for instance, she had unlocked Prestige Mode in merely two days. That's 1202800 experience points. So L4D2 was no match.

When she was 10, her uncle let her inherit his Atari and at first she didn't quite understand the meaning of hitting a ping pong ball back and forth, but as soon as she got the hang of it, you couldn't even tear her away from it, even if the house had been on fire.

* * *

><p>"Stop beating the tank with a baseball bat, you achievement whore!"<br>Finn sighed. "It's the only one I need." Quinn said as she continued circling the tank and dodging his blows, whilst the others were continuing running around collecting gas tanks to fill up the car.

Finn had never really been much for video games. He started playing them out of boredom one day. He had some saved up money from Christmas and went to the store to get an Xbox, not a 360, but the actual original white boxed thing.  
>He claimed Halo was his drug, but he'd usually get vaporized pretty early on. He couldn't steer the warthog and used to flip it over after having driven off of cliffs. Not exactly the most elaborate suicide and on top of that, his favorite weapon was the plasma pistol.<br>Based on those three things alone, he had quietly accepted his fate as a n00b.

"I can't believe you killed me." Santana shook her head and sighed. "Does this mean I win?" She saw the sparkle in Brittany's eyes. If she could, Santana would grant her every wish, she would give her the world, along with all of its imperfections. "No, B. It's not over yet."  
>"Well then, game on." What they didn't think about was that there was a possibility that the competition between the two, could lead to an outcome that would be more beneficial to both players.<p> 


End file.
